So I was going to blog about homeless people. And I was ready to get into it and start crying and hysterical and get emotional and shit like I usually do when the subject of homeless people comes up, but that’ll have to wait for another day. Want to know why? I’M FUCKING PMSED AND CENTRELINK IS A FUCKING CATALYST FOR MASS RAGE. GODDAMN. In about half an hour of reading this you would’ve been completely a wreck of a person, crying on the floor, emotional and devastated and traumatised, crying in sync with me about homeless people and how seriously depressing it all is. But now you can’t, until the next time I’m in the mood to be depressing and blog about it. NOW YOU HAVE TO ENDURE MY ANGER. OK? OK. OK. jESUS CHRIST I CAN’T EVEN TYPE PROPERLY IN PROPER SETNENCES FUCK THE WORLD. If you don’t want to bother reading my raging skip past all the numbered paragraphs and proceed to the end.

1. My speech was the most uncoordinated piece of dog shit ever. This is entirely my fault; I should’ve prepared more. I got up there and fucking ADLIBBED. I spent five minutes trying to think of a synonym for a swear word that wasn’t offensive. I didn’t bring my palm cards and couldn’t read my own writing on my dodgy hard copy. I stood up there and made shit up and it was not magnificent. My cheeks went crimson and for a moment I hit the point where it got so ridiculosuly retarded that I kind of had an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE.

2. My confirmation. Not trying to bag out anyone who is Christian or anything - I just do NOT BELIEVE. So I’m technically Catholic and there are these practices that occur in a Christian’s life at certain ages - baptism, reconciliation, communion, confirmation. Confirmation is the final bit you do in, like, year 6. When you’re 10/11 years old. Not when you’re 16. My father forgot about me and made me undergo Confirmation recently. I was DOUBLE THE HEIGHT OF ALL THE PARTICIPANTS THERE - AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING CONSIDERING ITS ME (whwat the fuck I got 156cm last time I measured my height - 2CM LESS THAN WHAT I WAS 4 YEARS AGO, I SHRANK IN THE PERIOD WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO  EXPERIENCE THE MOST GROWTH IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, WHAT IS THIS SAYING ABOUT MY BODY?). I put up with it. I even went to a DOUBLE LESSON (where you learn about God and colour shit in) on my birthday and I tolerated it. Then I went to the actual ceremony tonight. And it was so fucking embarassing. The whole church stared at me like I was insane and that I shoudln’t be there and that I do not belong. The Archbishop went “..and Confirmation is something you cannot rub out, deep down in your heart it is something you will be BRANDED AS forever” WHY DID YOU HAVE TO USE “BRANDED” AND “FOREVER”. And he proceeded to say “..I hope none of you are here just for the sake of your grandma and you really do not believe in the Lord”. He meant it as a joke. It didn’t help I was wearing studded Colin Stuart booties that made the whole church stare at me like I was a possessed Satan worshipper.

3. FUCKING CENTRELINK. FUCKING ARWARAWRWARARWR.

Now that I’ve vented everything out, let’s explore the topic of how you deal with said rage. How I deal with rage:

1. Sit on the floor and chuck a fit.
2. Open my Moleskine and make an unintelligible mess of red pen and anger.
3. Take it out on others in the form of violence and abuse.
4. Listen to my iPod playlist - “I WANT TO CUT OPEN YOUR SPLEEN AND EAT IT”
5. Eat.
6. Go for a run. (Happening less and less because winter is a fucking cold hearted whore who won’t let me run because everytime I do, the wind is rushing into my face at 400km/hr and giving me whiplash and the flu.)
7. Sit on my bed and laugh hysterically. (Yes, I laugh hysterically when I get upset.)
8. Climb on my roof and howl at the moon.

I swear to god sooner or later I’m going to turn into a dinosaur and fucking eat the shit out of everything.

^ I have no idea what that guy has to be angry about. Now I’m going to watch Milk with a cup of Korean instant noodles, like how the night was originally supposed to pan out.